We left Switzerland, the land of ice and snow, where temperatures averaged between the low teens in the cities and zero degrees during our various trips up the mountains. We landed in Chania, Crete in 40 degree heat.

We checked into our hotel, which is a restored, ancient Venetian house. We walked into our room and opened the window to the most spectacular view of the Venetian harbour and lighthouse, built in the 16^th century and sitting at the end of the 500 metre long stone wall that encloses the harbour, built in 1320. The lighthouse is the oldest surviving lighthouse in Europe. Below us was a domed mosque built by the Ottomans in the 17^th century. Surrounding the harbour were myriad restaurants abuzz with activity.

We walked up the busy main street and found a tiny shop with barrels of oranges in front of it where they were squeezing fresh orange juice. The O.J. in Greece is legendary, and this place didn’t disappoint.

That night, we grabbed a cold beer from the local mini market and sat on our balcony overlooking the harbour, with the lights from the restaurants and lighthouse reflected in the water, the view was magic.

The following morning, we met our guide, Joseph, for a walking tour of the city. It was fascinating to learn the history of Chania (pronounced Hanya), where the architecture is unique. The city is built on the ruins of the Minoan civilisation, dating back 5,000 years. It was then ruled, in turn by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, and then the Byzantines, before it was sold to the Venetians in 1320 for 100 silver marks. The Venetians built the harbour and an impressive wall right around the city, with bastions on each corner. They built their houses on top of the previous buildings, constructing their atypical Venetian balconied houses with narrow laneways, reminiscent of Venice. After 400 years of rule, the Ottomans took over. Many of the houses had second stories built in the Ottoman style, with no balconies and heavy shutters over the windows. They ruled for 200 years before the island became Greek once more. Unfortunately, 80 pecent of the buildings and the Venetian wall surrounding the city were utterly destroyed by bombing in the second world war, so what is left is a fraction of the glory of this place in its heyday.

We finished our tour at a bustling restaurant precinct in an area just outside the Venetian harbour with views across the Eastern side of Chania. Joseph treated us to a coffee, which was basically like mud in a small cup. Rob wasn’t impressed. He then gave us a local alcohol made with honey and cinnamon. Rob was impressed.

We decided to stop at one of the restaurants there for lunch and Joseph had recommended a tapas restaurant. We thought a few small tapas dishes would be great for a light lunch and ordered 5 or 6 dishes. When they came, they were basically main meals and the food was so incredibly fresh and delicious that we stuffed ourselves and finished the lot! The highlights were the delicious, fresh Greek salad with feta, a local baked cheese dish full of peppers and chili, spinach and cheese parcels and delectable Greek meatballs.

After lunch we were all hot and ready for a swim, so we grabbed our togs and headed for the water. There were no sandy beaches, so we had to walk down a stone staircase to the ocean and swim in front of the old Venetian wall. The water was pristine and Rob got a little excited, acting like a kid with A.D.H.D. as he splashed the girls, eliciting plenty of shouts of “Robert!”. The only time Rob’s full name is used is when he’s in trouble and we have heard this name many, many times during our travels.

We returned to our rooms, grabbing a fresh O.J. on the way and shortly after, Dennis and Linda arrived. We were all so excited to see each other and wasted no time in getting out into the old town to show them around. Joseph had told us where the best ice cream in Chania was to be found, so we thought we owed it to him to try it out. We didn’t need to twist Dennis’ arm. He loves his ice cream. We all grabbed drinks, prosecco and wine for the girls and beer for the boys, and headed back to our room to catch up on each other’s travels. The wine and prosecco were apparently disgusting, but the beer was great! Greek beer is really good and in the extreme heat goes down a treat. It’s also super cheap.

We were all enjoying a drink and Rob was strangely absent. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and I answered it to see Rob standing there in a bright pink pair of Speedos with his name on the front. As he walked past, I saw that “Greece 2024” was printed across the back. We all thought this was hilarious and I was laughing my face off until he turned around and threw a packet at me. He’d had speedos printed for me and Dennis as well. The situation quickly changed from hilarity to horror. He’d even had a pair printed for Ian with “(M.I.A.)” under his name. The girls made us put them on and took far too many photos, Linda zooming her camera in beyond comfort.

That evening we all went out for a magnificent Greek dinner on the foreshore of the ancient harbour. (Yes, we did change out of our speedos first). This, of course, involved plenty of beer for the boys and I must say it went down very well in the heat, although they serve it up in giant glasses.

The next morning, we went up the stairs to the rooftop of our hotel, where breakfast was served. The Greek yoghurt was to die for, and Linda excitedly scooped little black fruit all over the top of hers, exclaiming, “Ooooh! Are these dates or prunes?” Our hostess, Irene, looked at her and said, “They’re olives”.

After brekky, we met a guide, Nikolaus, in the main square and boarded a Land Rover for a tour of the Western side of Crete. Nikolaus was a fantastic guide and we loved hearing about his life as a ski and surf instructor, as well as the history and customs of the Cretan people. Our first stop was a famous beach called Balos Bay. To get there, we had to drive up a narrow, rocky road, winding around the edge of a mountain. The ride was rough, even in a 4WD and we were amazed to be passing tiny little hatchback cars one after another, all bouncing around on the dangerous surface. Nikolaus explained that they were all rental cars and that the car companies have the hirers sign a form stating that they won’t take their cars to Balos Bay because the roads are not fit for any car that isn’t a 4WD. Clearly, this directive is ignored, because when we arrived at the car park, there was not one 4WD in sight, besides ours, and the carpark was lined with hatchbacks sporting rental car stickers on their rear windows.

We walked up a rocky path, surrounded by goats and made our way to a cliff edge. From here we had panoramic views of the turquoise waters of Balos Bay far below us. People were rushing past us and heading for a path descending down the cliff to the beach. Nikolaus explained that we wouldn’t be stopping here because it was a 40 minute hike down to the beach and everyone would be rushing down the grab the few available umbrellas. Apparently, the place is always terribly crowded, with only one toilet. We were satisfied with taking some amazing pictures and headed back to the car to drive to our next stop.

Once back in the car, Linda pointed to a car in front of us, which had the letters “GR” on the number plate. She asked Nikolaus, “Is the GR for ‘Germany’?” He replied “It stands for ‘Greece’”. Who would have guessed?

A short time later, we arrived at our final destination, a beach called Falassarna. This beach was beautiful, and we donned our new speedos and headed off to our pre-allocated lounge chairs and umbrellas. The boys caused quite a stir when we walked onto the beach wearing our bright pink togs and we had many people taking our photos. One lady was shouting “I love you! I love you! I love you!” The water was clear and blue, and you could see fish swimming around us. In the 40 degree heat, it was wonderfully relaxing to lay in the water.

Rob was chatting to a skinny guy from Denmark named Toby, who asked if he could have a photo taken with us. “I wish I had a pair of those bathers!” he said. Rob threw Ian’s pair at him and asked him to put them on for a photo. We dubbed him “Greek Ian”.

After a couple of hours on the beach, we headed to the restaurant on the beachside, where Nikolaus had organised a magnificent lunch of moussaka, fresh Greek salad with delicious Cretan cheese and many other beautiful dishes.

After lunch we headed back to our accommodation in Chania. On the way, Linda was telling Nikolaus about Canada and how you can’t have lip gloss because a bear will come and eat you, and then eat your lip gloss. I don’t know why the bear would bother eating a tiny lip gloss after gorging down an entire human, but hey, that’s Linda for you. I commented that this is why bears have very supple lips.

Nikolaus gave us the name of his favourite souvlaki restaurant, so that night for dinner we all went there and enjoyed very tasty gyros, then wandered around Chania enjoying the electric atmosphere.

The next morning it was time to leave Chania and head for Heraklion, the capital city of Crete. We woke early and Dennis had already gone out for a morning walk. Lidia saw him returning and hung off our balcony to ask him if he wanted a cup of tea. It was only 7:00am and Dennis was keen to have a beer! It was a little early for beer, so I declined and plus it was my responsibility to drive to Heraklion. There was no easy way of getting there, with no trains and the buses taking 4.5 hours, so we hired a 9 seater van to drive the 2.5 hour journey. The van was a clapped-out old Opel and when the rental car attendant went over the van recording the damage, there were more damaged panels than undamaged ones! We hopped in the car to find that it was a manual. I haven’t driven a manual for years and never with the gearstick on the right-hand side, so we were in for an interesting trip. The car was so old that there was no cruise control, no Bluetooth and no GPS, so I propped my phone up on Linda’s bag on the dashboard, cranked up the Greek radio station and bunny-hopped off towards Heraklion. Thankfully, the air conditioning was working! Lidia came up with a few car games, which was fun and that helped pass the time. The trip seemed to go quickly, driving around high mountain roads with views across Crete and the Greek Islands, Greek music blasting from the radio.

We made a stop about halfway at a town called Rethymno, and after a hair-raising journey navigating the large van through tiny laneways to get to a carpark, where the Dennis and Rob walked up a hill in the searing heat to see an old fortification, the rest of us explored the city. I found a typical Greek tavern for lunch, and we spent an hour or two enjoying this delicious spread. The Greek food so far has not disappointed.

We stayed only one night in Heraklion as a stopover before catching a ferry to our next destination. Next stop: Santorini.